Now just for 0001 listen 0010 me; you can only die 0010, and that's the 0011 time I tell that 0100 times in a row 0010 you!

If wit is only half of humor, why doesn't anyone tell you what the other half is?

I've changed my mind. I'd rather have the frontal lobotomy.

The uncertainty principle revised by the Nautical Symphony Group:
Just because the music might still be playing, doesn't mean the ship might not sink.

Personally though, I don't think anyone should look too closely into what they were thinking in that moment, you might not find anything...

Now let me tell u the real power of u-substitution; you can use any letter u want, however, since i like u, u should use u^2 like i do!

PS: u are positive unlike i, but that's just how we're rooted.

The devil's in the details, which is why I'm a strategist and not a tactician.

it flows , it flows down ward toward the center

I've heard time is like a river. . .and yet no one is selling time boats?

Why do computer scientists find it so hard to tell Christmas from Halloween?

It's because to them, 31(oct) equals 25(dec).

A gamer needs both intelligence and willpower to see past glittering prizes. Deck me out!

An apology is like pasta: if you overdo it, it's gonna suck

It says so hair; "for sunkissed blonds". Now, I might be blond, but damn if I know if the sun really kissed me or not...

If it looks stupid but it works, then it wasn't stupid.

Despite having been laid and funded by the previous government

Sure, they say to ask and ye shall receive; but every time I've ever asked, the only thing I've received was contemptuous laughter and scornful looks.