:D
spat beer out my nose reading that


Edit:
:O
What if the noise isnt the lid slamming, but the pan being hit by one of her depth charges!??!?!?!

Good one.

Slam your own toilet lid harder. Or record it loudly slamming and play it even louder. She'll get the message.

4. Befriend her close enough so that you can visit her house. Then excuse yourself to use the washroom. While you're in there, take measurements of the toilet seat lid's dimensions. Buy the lid according to specs.

Then next time you're invited over, say you have a present over, so bring a backpack with the lid inside and some nominal gift like two scented candles. Present her with one. Excuse yourself to the washroom saying you've got a huge stomach ache and bring your backpack; say that it has Pepto-Bismol inside. Then repair it without her knowing, but also make sure to flush every 4 minutes so she doesn't get suspicious. Take her old lid, light the other scented candle in her washroom, and then tell her you gotta take care of the rest at your own house.

Now your neighbour is very fond of you and has a quiet lid.

Maybe the dumps she's taking are slamming to the bottom of the bowl.

Do you know your neighbor, e.g. if it is a family, could it be his/her kid(s) that slam it? Especially my older son tends to slam the toilet lid, as well as doors, even if I tell him not to.

I think I suggested this already in the earlier thread, but if it is a single and especially is he is a she, she might be one of the "bacterofobics" who is overly afraid of germs, hence she tends to close the lid with her leg or such, in an uncontrolled manner.

EDIT: Ok I forgot, so apparently it is a single she.

Maybe you could buy her one of those long rubber gloves that cow breeders use to inseminate the cows and pulling little cows out of their asses. You know, the black ones that go all the way to their armpit. That should keep her safe from any toilet lid germs.

Anyway it is always good to directly confront your neighbor, unless he is some 300 lbs ex-felon or Joe Pesci:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ-Vvk2RS4Y

Anyway my neighbor once came to my door to ask me to make sure my kids don't slam our car's doors to their car next to it, when they run out of the car. Cool, I do that, thanks for letting me know. Nowadays I always tell my sons to remain inside the car until I let them out myself from outside, making sure the door hits me, not my neighbors car. Those little rascals are so impulsive, I bet they'd eat a squirrel if I told them to, or even if I didn't. Little fuckers.

I suggest breaking into her apartment when she is out, Mission Impossible style, and gluing the seat into one position with some really strong industrial glue. Then she can't slam it any more!

(btw, when you say she slams the toilet seat, do you mean on the odd occasion that she uses the bathroom, or is she standing there just slamming it over and over continuously? Because, in that second case ... she might need some professional help)

Write her a letter.

Dear neighbour,

I know when you poop!

Sunday, 1st of August: 4 a.m., 6 p.m.
Monday, 2nd of August...
...
...
...

Burn a buttload of Japanese tv commercials for silent toilet-lid-lowering tech onto a DVD and leave as a gift on her doormat.

Casually just mention: "When you use your toilet I can feel your pain."

And don't forget this one! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7ZyRB3-X7A

Weird thread XD
I imagine she doesn't slam the lid on purpose.. it simply doesn't stay up.
I'd try to politely inform her of the situation and ask if she could lower it slowly.

Why is this thread a thing?

Hmmm... buy a new lid for her, a non-slamming slow-closing one, and give it to her, or as suggested above install it yourself...

Yeah, do some artsy 80s Bokeh-overlaying swoops with that, it will show your sensitive side and that you care about her as a person, while driving the point home.

She just doesn´t know how to grab your attention. Ask her for a date already.