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^ banned for not striking his balls
Banned for causing the balls to go on strike.
^ banned, because that's just a symptom of your old age
Banned because my huge metal balls get properly serviced regularly, and when it comes time I'll just get a fresh new pair.
^ banned, because you just publicly revealed some of the wish content from my "list"
Banned for wearing a red hat even though other forms of Linux are better.
Banned for using Ubuntu
Banned because I only sort of use Ubuntu, because I use Mint.
Banned for shoving mints down your computer's throat instead of properly taking care of its oral hygiene.
Banned for shaming my computer for its halitosis.
Banned for not joining in on the shaming.
^ banned for your shifty, sharp-tongued, shameful shaming of Seamus
Banned and sentenced to Shawshank.
^ banned for being irredeemable
^ Banned for not practicing forgiveness.