You should lightly toast the crumpet on the flat side, before fully toasting the crinkled side. Then you should cover it with a liberal amount of butter (not margarine). It should then be topped with a thin coating of either marmite, jam, or marmalade (but not more than one of those).

Down here they're just firing from the hip with their both sides equally toasted crap.

Is cheese an authentic topping for crumpets? I like a slice of Cheddar on mine.

And does anybody still call them pikelets?

You guys are making me hungry. It's 6.44pm and I haven't eaten anything since 4am.

Anyway I got what I needed, so thanks again to everybody who helped :P. I really appreciate it.

Just remember in the future that builders and doctors don't speak the same anywhere, even if both live in the same country, in the same city, in the same district, in the same tower block, in neighbour apartments.

Except for Russia, perhaps. There's a curious lack of regional variation in the Russian language, but I'm sure social variation exists to some extent.

Also, good luck with your writing. Any chance of an excerpt at some point?

Interesting, although I doubt that's true. Council housing is extremely common in the UK. That has changed somewhat since the Thatcher administration sold a lot of the council homes to the tenants.

But, I wouldn't think there would be a connection the way that there is in other countries.
Australian English has very little regional variety compared with most other dialects of English or really any other language.

"Etymology
The term has its origins in the Romani word chavi, meaning "child"(or "chavo", meaning "boy", or "chavvy", meaning "youth"). The derivative chavette has been used to refer to females. The adjectives "chavish" and "chavtastic" have been used in relation to items designed for or suitable for use by chavs"

It's pretty close the other is "Council Housed Asbo'd Violent"

As for what to call someone for a london accent... Watch Tennants doctor he's got an estuary dialect which is one of the more common london dialects...
a pikelet isn't a crumpet! Though similar a crumpet is tin raised while a pikelet is flatter and pancake like.

Eww, I don't like those thin jobbies. Depth is necessary to highlight the contrast in textures.