My inside Steve the Storyteller is hibernating at the moment so I'll have to deprive you of an awesome and unique tall tale, but I can tell you one thing about our common friend, who is so fierce and notorious that his name shall not be spoken for the ear's security of our fellow GOGers.
He once slayed a dragon, but he didn't really slay it... aand it wasn't technically a dragon... what I'm trying to say is that the old man once KICKED A CAT...and it was epic!

Thanks for the giveaway!
C'mon ye storytellers, Crewdroog is hungry! :)

I once had dinner with Bill Gates. Delicious food, good wine and then we played pictionary. Great fun!
And at first he didn't want to come. I had to send a dozen invitations and a mob gang to kidnap him before he decided to come over.

Not in, but +1 for you.

bipity-bopity-BUMP!!!!!

fist-bump bump.

bump. and I am willing to let the winner wait till the "end" of the fall sale to maximize the 5.99 prize (typically gog throws everything up one last time with the huge price cuts).

Bump :)

One day, when I was sad and lonely after having recently ended a long term relationship, I met a beautiful woman. I saw her in passing as she drove up to where I was sitting with my friend to pick him up. I thought she was the most beautiful girl that I had ever seen and I was really hoping to see her again. Two days later, my friend and I were heading to a New Year's Eve party and we would be going with his roommate, who happened to be that beautiful young lady.

I purchased a new chariot that very day, so I took it down the hill , picked up my friend, and then we went across the fields , streams, and meadows to rescue the beauty from boredom and fidgetiness. Upon entering her hovel, I began to think about what she would be wearing. I pictured her in a long black cape, with a green tunic or dress under. Then I pictured her in a red corset with a shorter black cape...the red was deeper and darker than that of her hair, and brought out the color perfectly. Then I pictured her in form fitting denim pants...thought I had never hunted denim for its skin before. I was pleased with my visions of her and smiled as I passed through the doorway to my destiny.

I stepped into the portal, turned left and my jaw hit the floor. I had not pictured her naked (seriously) in my visions so I did not know what to expect. There she was standing under a stream of water, washing her luxurious locks. Her pale skin glistened in the artificial light that she had conjured and shaped into bulbs that hung in the room where she had also contained the stream and a basin to keep the water from spilling over into her home. She was a fine sorceress as well as the picture of perfection.

Her legs were longer than I had been able to tell as she sat in her horseless carriage the other day. I stared long and hard..ummm I stared a while and thought that if I tilted my head and squinted I could see the shape of her breasts, hidden under her gorgeous hair. I tilted a little more, and she turned towards me, and tossed the long mane that she was rinsing behind her back. As I no longer needed to squint, I opened my eyes as wide as I could, to take in the marvel standing before me. There she was in all of her six foot tall glory. The smile on her face widened in lockstep with my eyes. The more obvious it was that I was trapped within her gaze, the happier she appeared to be.

My friend decided that <i>now,/i> would be a good time to announce my entrance. Her eyes gleamed with mischief and she said hello. She let me look upon her another minute and then turned her back to me. That hair of the most perfect red tone went all the way down her back and lightly teased the top of her legs. Again I tilted my head and squinted, thus enabling my eyes to see through the veil of red hair to take in the shape of the most pleasing to look at posterior in all of the world. Surely her parents were wizards ( I found out later that her mother was a bit of a witch) and had summoned the greatest sculptors of history to craft this woman from the finest alabaster in existence.

I am not sure how long she held me in her magical stasis but I would have let her keep my gaze fixed upon her body until I died of dehydration. That actually sounded like a grand death, perhaps she would allow me to drink from the water that pooled in certain raised areas of her body or she could fill her mouth with the fresh, cool spring and transfer it into my mouth. Alas after what is still locked away in my mind as one of the best times of my life, she closed the portal between her entry hall and the room of waterfalls. She reemerged a few minutes later in a towel, as she approached her skin again glistened as the water still fell in beads down her face and over her shoulders. There was some sort of an unseen mist in the air or something as she had entranced me in such a way that my senses were crossed. I was certain that the longer I looked at those shoulders, I could taste the water running over them.

She asked politely if I would turn my back while she removed her towel and put on a wrap around denim skirt and a green top that held her form perfectly. I thought about sneaking a peek before I turned, but I decided to pretend to be a gentleman and turn quickly, yet not so quickly as to make her think that I did not <i>want</i> to look. This was delicate business. What devilish magic was this, she had a twin standing behind me! It took me a second to realize that I was looking into a mirror as I watched her remove her towel, dry herself, and begin dressing. She noticed the mirror and made a face that indicated that a mistake was made on her part, but she was sort of kind of glad that it happened that way. Or maybe she was just glad that I was appreciating my good fortune of finding a mirror on the back of her closet door.

We went to the party and I will not bore you with the details of how amazing this lass was or how the rum affected her abilities to not flirt with me. What I will say is that the rum...oh the rum, in all of its wickedness was a godsend. For you see every great sorceress as well as every great bard such as myself, has a weakness. Mine it would appear is a beautiful lass, but I think it is the red hair actually, but we were talking about her... her weakness was the rum. I supplied the rum to her in moderation, just enough to keep her using hr feminine wiles on me. I am sure that she thought that her actions over the next few weeks were enticing me to bring her more rum, when in fact it was *I* who had the upper hand. Oh yes, I had reversed her spell and through the guise of the rum, had trapped her into thinking that I was a slave to her beauty alone. Then something happened. She informed me that I was but a toy in her chest to play with and put down whenever she wanted. A very perverted and devious part of my brain really liked this idea, but I took it as a challenge to win her heart as well as her body.

The best way to a lasses heart is with love and children. I spoke of children and casually stated that I would never had a child with a woman who smoked the tobacco leaf. She was appalled...but not at my statement. Aye, she was angered at her own addicted to the tobacco leaves. She blurted out as a retort that she would quit if and when the time came to have a child. I smiled...I was winning her. The next time we were riding in my chariot and stopped at a chariot fueling station, I went inside and I asked her if she needed more tubes of tobacco. Yes I did not approve of her smoking, but like the rum, supplying her had its perks.

She interrupted my question with a dismiss of her hand and the words, 'no I am trying to quit.' She realized at that moment and I had done what no mortal man was ever supposed to do. I had won the heart of a succubus. She knew that with those words she had given me the power over her that she had tried to hide over those long pleasure filled days of the past...ummm three months. The smile on her face appeared to surprise her. Perhaps I had freed her in the end. She may have grown tired of using her supernatural beauty to win over any man she so chose, only to drop him and pick up another. Within a fortnight we were engaged. Thirteen months after that, we were married in this mortal realm. She quit smoking sometime in between which is good because we have seven children. I love that woman more each day, so I may have freed her, but she still obviously has the power of seduction in addition to love over me. Umm i mean if this story were real...or course.

GA ends TOMORROW. Sometime. Of my choosing.

Why you not enter? can get a lot of games with 5.99 in a flash sale! Again, I am willing to hold off on you redeeming your prize until the last day of the Fall Sale in case they have all the flash sales up at once.

I'm ending this nonsense at 9pm EST. if you want a chance at a 5.99 gog game(s) of your choice, enter now. :)

but i already got a lot of games !

I am in!! Thank you for the GA!!



Once there was a small kitten. He lost his Mommy and could not find his way home. He wobbled around trying to find shelter. There was nothing around. He could not see as his eyes were still closed. Putting his head low to the ground he tried to move forward and maybe find a place to warm up. He had all but given up hope as he laid down and resigned himself to the inevitable.

After a short time the ground began to shake and the warmth from the sun stopped. Something was blocking his warmth. He lifted his head and let out a small squeak. Two large hands came down and scooped him up. The kitten decided this was it and there was nothing he could do.

Moments later the climate seemed to have changed. There was no more wind blowing. There was no more birds chirping. He could not hear any of the sounds he was used to. He wondered where he was.

The next thing he knew he was wrapped in something warm and some one was talking to him in a gentle voice. There was love in the voice. Would this creature help me the kitten thought.

(ok not really a good story and I how I image Gizmo when we found him) =)

After careful reading of the great stories, I have decided that treasure is the winner! Mainly cause I want to find out how she got home from Mt Etna. ;) Congrats and a PM is incoming. Thank you all for the lovely stories, I enjoyed reading them. :)

Thanks again Crewdroog for hosting this fun contest and for nominating me as the winner! :-) I'll decide on what game(s) I want and send you a PM soon.
And now, as I see that there is this suspense on how my tale will end, I present to you without further ado:
How I got back Home from Mount Etna
In order to recap, this young giant left me on Mount Etna. Of course, I didn't know at first he had left me there, but as soon as I heard the volcano growling, I got myself down from there in a hurry and saw after I descended the sign saying in Italian "Mount Etna". After I got to safety, I started thinking how I'd get from Sicily (where Mount Etna is) back home in Cyprus (because I totally didn't feel like getting stranded in Sicily). Problem was that both Sicily and Cyprus are islands, so getting back home only by foot was out of the way. I started walking around,thinking of various ways I could solve my problem, but couldn't think of anything. While walking aimlessly, I ended up near the shore : there I saw a group of fishermen trying to get on their ship a fish. But it was not a normal fish, mind you- it was the biggest fish I had ever seen, and it was equal to the size of the fishing boat, if not bigger. I stayed there watching them trying to pull the fish to shore in such a way so that their ship wouldn't turn over. They finally managed it and came ashore. Then one of the fishermen noticed me and said something in Italian. Seeing as I didn't understand what he said, he said in English "Would you like some fish?", as if it was the most natural thing in the world. I politely denied, because I don't eat fish with bones, and then I asked whether he was used to fishing such big fish (he certainly seemed so). He said that yes, such big fish were plentiful in this general area. At that moment, a light bulb turned on in my head (just like in the comics!) and I asked him whether he could catch another one of those fish, but not in order to eat it, but in order to help me get back home (and I also told him how I ended up in Sicily in the first place). He barely believed me, but decided to help me anyways. In short, he fished another one of those fish, but instead of killing it, he put a harness, like the one we put on the horses on it and whispered something in its ear. The fish immediately became obedient and stood still so I could get on it and then Roberto (this was the name of the fisherman) gave me a stone and told me that this stone would show my general position on the Mediterrenean so I wouldn't be lost. I profusely thanked him and set out on the sea sitting on the back of the fish. (Btw, if you haven't experienced sitting on the back of a giant fish, it's a bit like sitting on a hovercraft, only way more slimy-thank goodness I didn't fall off!). The trip went along nicely, until we reached the shores of Crete (as shown on the stone-GPS). At that point the fish halted and I almost fell off. I looked around and, after realising that it hadn't stopped so that I could admire the magnificent view of Chania from the sea, I tried to prod it into starting again, but to no avail. Suddenly, there emerged from the sea a fish similar to the one I was riding with a mermaid (a very pretty woman she was-definitely prettier than Ariel-the only other mermaid I had seen) riding it. The mermaid asked me menacingly "So, who are you who dare ride a servant of the sea like this?" I told her my name and then politely asked for her name. She said "What does it matter to you what my name is?" but I insisted (it was the first time I met a mermaid in my life, so why not learn her name?). She sighed and told me her name was Thessalonike. "The sister of Alexander the Great?" * I asked excited. She seemed very pleased that someone had finally recognised her as the important person she was and told I could ask her any favor I wanted and she would do it. I said I wanted to get back home in Cyprus safely (I also specified the part of the city where I live, because I didn't feel like ending up in the wrong city). She whistled and a huge eagle appeared. She said something to the eagle and then told me to get on his back and he would get me home. I did so, but as I was about to leave, she asked me "Is King Alexander alive?". I figured I didn't want to ruin my chances of getting home, after all this journey, and replied the stereotypical "He lives and reigns and conquers the world!" (all this dialog took place in Greek, btw). She smiled, satisfied, and bid me farewell. As I turned back, I saw she went back into the bottom of the sea with both her fish and the one I rode. The eagle continued towards Cyprus- however upon arriving in Cyprus' airspace, we almost fell on a plane (either the eagle or the plane's pliot were reckless) and I fell from the back of the eagle and started falling down the air. The eagle caught me quickly enough (well, the mermaid did promise the journey would be safe!) and we continued.
Anyways, in order to be short in my narration, I didn't thankfully face more ordeals like that and the eagle left me near my home and left. I got home by foot (I was close enough) and after getting home, I fell straight to bed and fell asleep (all this was very tiring!). It was only the next day that I found out no-one would believe my story, because I lost the stone-GPS upon falling from the eagle and had forgotten to ask the mermaid for a souvenir(and so I had no proof all thses had happened). Oh well....
*=you might not know it, but there's a Greek tradition that says that the sister of Alexander the Great somehow became a mermaid after her brother died.

Congratulations, Treasure! And a big thank you to Crewdroog for the awesome giveaway!