Banned for being a subject.

Banned because he often stutters when commanding his troops on the battlefield. "Commence the attack-ack-ack-ack!"

Banned because i am on the defensive, always; and my troops are non-existent, as well as subjects.

Banned for being the king of a one-man-kingdom.

Banned because that's the best kingdom imaginable.

Banned for being the king in title only.

Banned because i was her "king" and the "others", "dethroned" me (at least i got to enjoy and savor, a short glimpse of genuine, passionate affection, as well as their hatred, jealousy, spite and salt; I WAS THE BEST DAMMNIT YEAH!)

Banned because you're no king! You're a KiNg, and that's different from a King.

Banned, because I'm the king of the forum, and anybody else claiming such a title here is an illegitimate usurper.

Banned because no kings, no gods.

Banned for paraphrasing Slim Shady.

EDIT: Banned for sneaking that post in just before my perfect retort!

Banned for being late.

Banned for giving birth before reaching the hospital.

Banned for blocking the way to the hospital with your monster truck.

Banned for jumpscaring your pregnant wife in a bear suit so badly that she swooned and passed the baby out like a cute little fart.