I need your help. A good friend of mine lives in Denmark but I lost all the information one would need to contact her. :( And I need to contact her. Is there people I can contact in Denmark, that will give me her address or something like that? I already tried contacting her friends and other people who know her through email(still waiting for their replies). But I still want to know more ways I can contact her, just in case.

I'm not from Denmark, but here's some general advice when asking people to reveal someone else's personal data:

There are lots of people who don't _want_ to be found, for good reasons. (For example, a friend of mine has an extremely jealous and violent ex-husband who definitely should _not_ know where she lives). I therefore would never give such data to strangers whose intentions I cannot know - they are _probably_ okay, but there's always a risk.

Therefore, instead of asking people to give you that information, I would recommend to give those people _your_ contact data, and ask them to relay it to the person you're looking for. This way, _she_ can decide whether she wants to contact you.

There is always a risk when it comes to everything in life. You can get in your car and on your way to the store get in an accident but the chances of that are not high unless you are drunk or something. So should people give up driving because there is a risk? Not letting someone contact someone is just being paranoid and annoying, in my opinion unless you know that person has people from their past who are very dangerous. The average person does not have dangerous people from their past BTW. Thank you for your recommendation though which is very helpful when dealing with some people, I'm sure.

I'm sorry, but I don't think your argument that "everything has a risk" makes much sense. Yes, driving a car has a risk. And no, of course there's no need to stop driving cars because of that. The solution is to drive responsibly and cautiously.

And this is exactly what I suggested in terms of revealing contact information: being cautious, acting responsibly, because there are risks. I didn't say "Get lost, you are probably a violent madman". I pointed out that no one here knows you, that no one here knows the person you're looking for, and that under these conditions, it would be better to let _her_ decide if she wants her personal data revealed. All we _do_ know is that you, despite contacting several of her friends, see a possibility that they won't give you the address - otherwise you wouldn't have asked here, in a forum of total strangers, for other ways to get it.

The fact that you feel the need to disparage this simple precaution as "paranoid" makes me think that it's probably a good thing to be careful in this matter. I suggest talking to some people who _have_ been harassed by others who just couldn't let go. Perhaps then you'll understand.

As a former security officer I'm +1 for both your posts. I often times had to have my eye out for that sort of thing at work.

I do have a somewhat suspicious and jaded sense of these things, but I also know that having strangers looking for strangers is just a recipe for trouble if it's not handled completely properly.

For some reason, I'm getting the picture of Matt Dillon's character from There's Something About Mary in my head right now.

Ultimately, hand over like an email to hand this friend, assuming that they can even locate the person. Which even in my home town of 606k would be rather difficult without contact information.

Paranoid and annoying... Well, be careful, there might be a monster hiding in your closet. And don't talk to strangers, they are evil. I desperately need help, and you are just sabotaging that shit for me by filling peoples heads with nonsense. Why don't you suck my monkey balls?

You really know how to talk people into helping you..

Nobody will help here anymore anyway. Psyringe most likely scared everyone into thinking I want to find this person and hurt this person. Thank you AFnord for your very helpful post. I thought more people here would understand, how horrible it is to not be able to find and contact a good friend that lives in a far away country.

Why not use Pipl? It's more likely to help than posting here.

I'll try that too. Thanks

THERE IS NO DANE THERE IS ONLY ZOOL

It's not even about "you might be a crazy stalker". It's just rude to give out someones personal information or contact details without their permission.

No, actually, we never paid the danegeld so we were eventually able to get rid of them:)
Because only private business, which is all-holy and good, in the US has the right to this information!

Seriously, get over it, this kind of information is so widely disseminated it's he information equivalent of the "village bicycle". Even your unlisted phone number is available from Information, all one has to do is state, "I want it anyway" and they will give it to you, all for 45 cents or whatever the fuck it costs these days.

It's like pretending your birthdays is secret information, even without Facebook all your shit is online. All your property transactions, all your court records (arrests too!), etc. is all there, it just used to be kind of hard to dig it up.

Go check the online "PI Services", they already have a pretty great idea about you and your family, just based on online genealogical records (thanks Mormons and old people!).

I've helped washing blood off the walls and ceiling after a good friend of mine was severely beaten by her ex boyfriend who had somehow tracked her (to another country), pissed off because she didn't return his calls. I have no problems understanding that some people don't want to be found.

I've also been unable to get in touch with close friends and family for days, worrying that something bad happened to them (like after the massacre at Utøya last year - compare it with 9/11 if you like) - I understand that frustration as well; not knowing is often worse than knowing.

Given the two opposite extremes above, it makes a lot of sense handling requests like yours in the manner described by Psyringe (which incidently is the standard procedure in every workplace I've been when someone tries to get an employee's home address or number) as that respects both extremes - those who don't want to be found, and those who don't mind being found.

What you don't seem to understand, though, is that your attitude in your posts here isn't helping you at all. On the contrary, you're showing a lot of the same signs as those one do not want to give any personal information about anyone to. I'm not sure I'd even give you the time of day.