In other news, Rockstar Games has been given a license to create a Sesame Street IP-based video game for PC and Xbox 360.

Japanese H-games: IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY IN REAL LIFE.

Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing: I learnt to type with that. Amazing stuff, after all these years.

Most Adventure games again: In a life-or-death situation, you'll always have plenty of time to think your problem out and walk around looking at things. No need to rush.
Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Bullets kill people. Specifically, they kill YOU. Avoid firefights at all costs.
Half-life 2: Bullets kill people. Specifically, they kill your enemies. Never fear a firefight.
Halo: Plasma travels slower than bullets.
Internet Blackjack: Never gamble when you don't know the odds. Even if you DO know the odds, don't bet too much.

Doom 3: In the year 2145 there will be a severe duct tape shortage. Start stockpiling it now.

Team Fortress 2 - You can withstand the hailing bullets of a Heavy a lot more than a knife in the back.

Giants: "extra light" is smarty code for "weighs more than you do"
Giants: always bring a picnic basket
Munchkin: Never pick up a duck in a dungeon!
Oni: guns are not superior to your fists
Guild Wars: Gwen is who destroyed char society don't let anyone tell you otherwise
City of Villains: evil organizations are to much like big business but with a spandex dress code.
Shin Megami Tensi: Nocturne: sh!t happens
Shin Megami Tensi: Digital Devil Saga 1&2: Yes Argilla has moths on her boobs, still not an excuse to stare at them

Ninja Turtles Arcade: Always eat the pizza before the other guy does.

Everything is trying to kill you!
Evil is Easy
Evil pays better
Evil is petty.

Civilization : You can't develop Laser out of the blue without Iron Smelting and Feudalism
Europa Universalis III In Nomine / Magna Mundi : More history than an history major.

Ahhh, the Onion. The source of all truth...

Any MMO: That having to rely on other players to be your "content" is a loser's game.

Ever tried not playing an MMO alone?
GTA Chinatown Wars (AGAIN): Molotovs are cheap, affordable weapons in any time of need.

Yes.
That's how I learned this.